Starlight

It is February again.

A new month.

The future feels unsure in that familiar way, like standing at the edge of something you cannot yet name. Valentine’s Day is approaching, and with it comes that quiet wondering of who will plant flowers in your garden this year.

Tonight, I keep thinking about you.

You all the way in Kuala Lumpur, doing whatever it is you do when you disappear into your own life. I think about our call, the way it lingered longer than it needed to, the comfort of voices crossing borders. For the past few days, my mind keeps returning to you. To us. To what could have been. What would have been. What never needed to be.

I picture a life that exists only because I allow it to.

A retro apartment filled with color. Windows always open. Music playing for no reason. We cook without recipes, host game nights that stretch too late, start a book club that is more talking than reading. The place is dressed to the nines and so are we. We dance in the living room. We laugh. We make plans we do not rush to keep.

And instead of reality stepping in to correct me, I let the thought keep going.

I let it stretch its legs.

You there. Me here. And somehow that distance does not feel like a problem tonight.

There is something kind about letting a feeling exist without demanding answers from it.

About not asking where it is headed or what it is supposed to become. No choosing. No proving. No quiet disappointment waiting in the next room. Just warmth. Just possibility.

I do not regret thinking of you.

I do not regret how easy it feels.

Some people arrive to remind you that your heart still knows how to dream. That it can imagine freely, without fear. That it can build worlds simply because it wants to.

Tonight, I let the thought of you stay.

Not holding it too tightly. Not pushing it away.

Like a song playing softly in the background.

Like a city I might visit one day.

February feels open.

Valentine’s Day feels less like a question and more like a passing moment.

Flowers bloom somewhere, and I find myself smiling when I see them.

For now, I let the story keep unfolding.

No ending.

Just a quiet happiness in the wondering.